30 Days of 30
When I was 27, I promised myself that I wouldn't enter into my 30s with hatred in my heart towards anyone. I also promised myself that before I entered 30, I would forgive EVERYONE who's ever hurt me, made me feel less than, discouraged me, broke me, laughed at me, rooted against me, etc, even if they never apologized. I soon discovered that erasing hatred from my heart wasn't possible because I hated myself. Forgiving others wasn't possible because I didn't forgive myself. People could easily hurt me because I didn't love myself. Day in and day out I carried the weight of past abuses in my soul, and it drained me until I didn't even recognize me. I allowed everything anyone ever said about me to define me. I believed every lie about me Satan ever told me. At 27, I prayed Psalms 51:10 , " 'Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.' I may not live to see 30. Fix me NOW. Help me to forgive NOW. Remove all hatred from my heart NOW. Help me to love and forgive myself NOW." Where the spirit of God is, there's freedom! Forgiveness brought freedom. Love brought freedom. Freedom from hatred brought freedom from the bondage of the enemy. Before I turned 28, I was free from others. More importantly, I was free from me! God allowed blessings to rain, pour, and chase me down in my 20s. I wanted to publish 1 book; I published 4. I wanted a Godchild because I was told I was barren; He gave me 3 Godchildren and MY OWN child. I wanted to forgive others; He designed me to forgive others and MYSELF. I wanted a job; He gave me 3 careers. I wanted a nice apartment; He gave me a comfortable HOME. I wanted a man to pass time with; He gave me husband who prays for me. I wanted to be an LPN; He gave me the strength to go back and get my RN. I wanted to work for a company I liked; He allowed me to start my own writing company--which I love. I wanted to have one booksigning; numerous doors opened, and I have lost count as to how many I've had. I've had commercials on the radio, MY books placed in libraries, MY books in bookstores-- all which are unheard of for a self published author. And very recently, big names have reached out to me to write with me and do business with me. All of this in my 20s. I am grateful. Full. Abundantly blessed. My cup runneth over. I have friends and family who didn't see 18 years old; God allowed me to see 30. Lord, I am still living off of the blessings from my 20s. What will you do for me in my 30s?
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